Our little adventure to an "Outdo dinner"....

Well... as usual, unpredictable as the weather, We, meaning myself the wicked one and the cheeky one, decided to attend a little pot luck dinner organised by an independent, non-profit set up called the OutDo, (slogan) Empowering Women. They meet up once a month to discuss topics like the Perfect woman, Faith N me, Pride and prejudice (Homophobia), and Sexxxxxxx..... !!!
(why and how we missed that week, God knows... but I shall request for a part 2 of that session now that we know Cheryl.... hee hee hee)

The topic of the night we went for was, "Coming out'...
Anyway, Cheryl started outdo because she felt there should be a small community gathering like this, safe and quiet with food of course being the common ice breaker to get those jaws open and relax to talk about things that we don't get to talk about, one being our sexuality, about what me thinks and what you sayssss.....

Questions that whispers in our mind that we don't think we need to ask, common mistake for many, that leads to many communication breakdowns, when later we try to find the link into ourselves, and our own emotions, we cant cause we don't know what they are... (tak tanya tak tau kan???)

Its a very casual and relaxed arrangement, nothing complicated, no passwords or secret code or hidden map locations, just an email, what we need to bring to feed and address is give to the location, which is to the house of a very generous and kind hearted soul who has a very big and trusting heart to open her home up to 9 or 10 strangers from all walks of life... , We salute!

Anyway, we rushed from work cause one of the small conditions mentioned was, please try to be on time..... hee hee hee, stressssss..... we arrived last....
Everyone was comfortably seated at the dinner table, and introduction was already going on, I was still catching my breath when Cheryl explained the night and the reason and the topic, my eyes busy staring at the food on the table
(sigh! lapar pulak tu, rush from the office, jam and penat...) and suddenly I realised I was not in a very comfortable state of mind, .... mind in wrong gear.

a quick check at meself, mind and thoughts... I stopped spacing out to her moving lips as she talked.. I focused and back to the dinner table just in time to hear her say, " .... and now maybe we can continue hearing about what x has to share, (x sitting next to me... ) fuhh... peluhhhh....

We were allowed to eat while another person talked, apa lagi, suap-ping the salad into my plate and passing the pasta and struggling with the sushi rolls, alamak!! my turn pulak.... tu lah... (mental note, must come early for these kind of events.... grrr...) between my errssss... errhmmm.... ahhhh I managed to give a short intro, then gave up and said in a very simple manner, " please ask me question later lar, if you have any... " *( hee hee hee.. like conducting a theatre workshop je.... soalan anyone??? CEHHH!!!!)

Anywaysss, the night went on as the topics varied from coming out, and families, x husbands and x girlfriends, work and confusion, God and Buddhism, personal journeys and self discoveries. We concluded the nights dialogue in a few simple pointers....

1. More of these gatherings should be happening for many "younger" womyn out there. (why, because many are still unsure, just come out, just discovered they are gay like me for example, and for those who are still in their teens, college just stated work life... (WLU members, please do go for these dinners, they are yummy and conversations like these are healthy!!!)

2. These gathering help us see we are not alone. They may even say things that we already know from the start but need reaffirming. They help us see people who are really comfortable in their own skin. (I learn a few things just from listening, fuhh terror!! and I like the part where they won't push you to talk, u can if you are comfortable, or u can just blend into the furniture...I blended in with the food... hee hee hee)

3. It is no longer about having to see sex or love compulsorily linked to gender. It is who we have chosen to Love and its a choice we make with our eyes and heart open. We make the choice and we have our own opinion about it.
Bearing in mind, so do other people around us and we have to live by it, with it, then only can we say we have an open mind and this is an independent world we live in today.

4. As others learn to respect the choice we make, so must we welcome their thoughts of us and why, which with these question that they ask then can we begin a two way discussion.
Of understanding, of choice and of the bigger picture, its not about Coming Out of the boundaries made by family and society, or culture or status of wealth or sickness... its breaking down the boundaries of who and how one can or choose to love.....

Coming Out of ourselves, our minds, our bodies and our own world... in our own time, space and to people whom we are responsible for, we make the call....

With this knowledge we then move on and we just Love... because to me...

Love knows no gender, age, status... Love withstands time, death, greed, fear and anger....

Love heals and sets us free, bound by nothing made or taught of this world...

Love just is.....